(snagged from miriam)
Bartender!
In the Dead of Night
I swear I need to create a category just for “white trash.” I would have no shortage of material to fill it up.
So the next door neighbors packed their belongings and bailed on their rent and disappeared yesterday. I got a sneak peek at the apartment and it’s pretty damned clear their idea of “packing” is not my idea of packing.
See, I would take important stuff. Like my bed. And my living room furniture. And my dining room. And all of my bookshelves + books. And my dishes, and and and…
Instead, all of that was left behind. And every available surface in the kitchen was covered with dirty dishes and open containers and every gawd-awful thing you can think of that really SHOULDN’T be on a kitchen countertop. I felt a driving need to take a bath in straight bleach with a Lysol chaser.
The rest of the place was only a minor disaster area. A huge stack of NatGeo magazines. Toys, kid’s books, video games. A stack of a gentleman’s magazine that features certain parts of a bunny rabbit (and other rather…ummm….let’s just call them “unsavory” and leave it at that.) And the big shocker…a ferret cage. Ferret sold separately.
Of course, being a longtime resident of the complex, I get dibs on stuff in abandoned apartments — if it doesn’t require a major disinfection. I did land a couple of items of interest: a candle holder now doubling as an ashtray, a cute little plastic goblet with an awesome black widow spider on the side (now the official holder of my earplugs) and the best thing of all………..
A copy of How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
Maybe it’s just the rabid bibliophile in me, but seeing the face of the poor Grinch all by itself on the floor…abandoned to fend for itself in this cruel world? No way.
I’m a sucker for taking in strays.
